In yesterday's blog I fully admitted that I am no where near perfect. I've had my fair share of heart breaks, and I truly believe that everyone has a story... but we all have a choice - to be miserable or rise from it!
"For all the women suffering from a broken heart due to a break up, know its okay. Every relationship is a chance to peel back another layer you never knew you had. Learn from ones who let you down. Forgive them. Be better, not bitter. Make space for someone who loves you exactly who you are. The love you deserve is bigger than you ever imagined." -Cara Alwill Leyba, Sparkle.
December 2015 my ex moved out, when I was in the middle of writing final exams at University, I thought my life was DOOMED! I felt like my entire world was falling before my eyes. How the f*** was I going to get through writing exams, figure out my living arrangements, and go back to University in 3 weeks? What do I tell my family during Christmas when they asked where he was?We would break up in a horrific shit storm, get back together, all good until the next hurricane. I was comforted by the chaos. I had to figure a way out of it all and figure out how to be happy. I also mentioned in yesterday's blog that the breakup was a huge eye opener for me! I forgot who I was. I could tell you everything about my ex's day right down to what he ate for lunch, but if you asked me what my favorite color was, I would have no idea!
"And suddenly you know... Its time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings." -Unknown
It drives me crazy when people say, "you are so much stronger than me. I could never do what you do." Lets be honest here, the first few weeks, I didn't want to leave my bed. All I wanted was lights out and chug a bottle of wine, cry 24/7. But we were put on this damn earth to not just a mediocre life, and I was determined to make the best of it. I allowed myself to do that for the first few weeks. Then I started setting mini goals, that I would do at least ONE nice thing for myself every day. I know drinking is a great comfort, and its easy to turn to the bottle because "it makes me feel better." But lets be realistic here... you are only AVOIDING the issue at hand, and alcohol is a depressant, so tomorrow, you are going to feel 10 x worse than teh day before. Its a fucking viscous cycle! Ad while we are being honest here... Depressed Betty becomes a drag to hang out with eventuality. And nobody can help you until you make a choice to start HELPING YOURSELF FIRST!
Now, before people get pissed off and tell me depression is a disease, I get it. I am well aware! But.. scientific studies have shown that our personal choices account for 40-50% of our happiness. Do people realize that is a LOT of power we have if we choose to utilize it! The happiest people don't have it any better than anyone else, they just choose to have a better attitude and do something about their situation! Remember- happiness is a choice. We have to accept the hands we were dealt with (that was a long, hard journey for me to learn, but we will save that for another post). In the end its our choice the perspective we have on life and our own happiness.
Some things that helped me tremendously were:
Some things that helped me tremendously were:
Seeking help! For the longest time I though that counselling was bullshit. Go in and pay money to sit on a couch for a stranger to listen to my problems, then hand me some sheets to "study" how to react to the next time I felt upset. Lets be honest- this didn't help me overcome the anger and resentment I was feeling. Let alone understand WHY I was feeling the way I was. It wasn't until one of my girlfriends has posted she was able to come off her depression medications after seeing a counselor at a cognitive behavioral therapy clinic. So I decided to give it a shot and it was by far the best thing I could have ever done! Not only did she give me home work so I could understand what I was feeling, reacting, but also recommend I journal and do personal development. When I first walked into her office I told her I was trying to force myself to do NO CONTACT for at least 30 days. She told me instead of focusing on what NOT to do, focus on ME! For example, if I kept telling you to not think about the color green, you would instantly think of the color green, and continue to think about it. SO that's when I started on my journey to healing myself!
I quickly come to realize there are TONS of benefits to me time, which leads to living a life full of happy and healthy choices! For example, you now sleep alone. Once you over come the anxiety of no longer having that person next to you, you realize how quiet it has become, and get a good night sleep, which helps prevent diseases! Chronic sleep deprivation and exhaustion causes a release of stress hormones which causes your blood sugar to rise, heightening your risk for diabetes and heart disease. Sleeping well does wonders for your skin and aids in weight loss. #Winning!
Personal Development. Some people think its a crock of shit, while others think its the most incredible thing ever. You need to get personal development for whatever area in your life you feel like you are lacking at that moment in time. Some of my favorites are:
- The Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy
- You are a Badass, by Jen Sincero
- The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod
- Girl Code, by Cara Alwill Leyba
- Sparkle, by Cara Alwill
- The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
Setting goals! After my breakup, I will fully admit for a few weeks I drank more than I should have. So I set a goal to only drink 2 x/ week, work out 4 x/ week, and at least 2 meals a day would have to be clean. Baby steps! :)
Working out! Fantastic me time. You never heard anyone say, "I regret that workout" once its done. Its my escape, and helps me get out of my head, and stop over thinking shit! Some of my girlfriends said that running does this for them, others going to the gym. For me its lifting weights in my basement for 30-45 minutes and listening to rap music.
At home Spa night. This is my usual go to every Friday evening!
Working out! Fantastic me time. You never heard anyone say, "I regret that workout" once its done. Its my escape, and helps me get out of my head, and stop over thinking shit! Some of my girlfriends said that running does this for them, others going to the gym. For me its lifting weights in my basement for 30-45 minutes and listening to rap music.
At home Spa night. This is my usual go to every Friday evening!
- Hot bath with Epson salts (eucalyptus & spearmint is my favorite). You can check out the health benefits here
- Mini candles (Bath and Body works)
- Guided meditation (Google Guided meditation -Blissful Deep Relaxation, you tube)
- Facial Mask (Sephora has awesome ones that you can reuse)
- Glass of Barefoot Bubbly (the white is the BEST! It also comes in Rose)
I will go to the chiropractor and for a massage at least once a month! It all comes back to your health in the end! Nothing worse then being tense, then getting headaches or unable to push harder in teh workouts! And of course, when I hit a new goal or finish a new workout program I reward myself with a mini shopping spree. Because there is nothing that will make you feel more fabulous than some new shoes, and a new outfit!
Whenever I feel my inner Bronx girl coming out (Yes, I grew up in teh Bronx, in a little town in Newfoundland), I kindly remind myself its my ego talking, take a few deep breaths, and repeat "Is this really a big deal? Am I going to die? Is someone else going to die? What is teh worse that will happen." And it usually calms me down! Then I put on some clothes I feel good in, do my make up, grab myself a glass of bubbly, and pull myself together!
Whenever I feel my inner Bronx girl coming out (Yes, I grew up in teh Bronx, in a little town in Newfoundland), I kindly remind myself its my ego talking, take a few deep breaths, and repeat "Is this really a big deal? Am I going to die? Is someone else going to die? What is teh worse that will happen." And it usually calms me down! Then I put on some clothes I feel good in, do my make up, grab myself a glass of bubbly, and pull myself together!
At the end of the day, we are the only one who can make us happy. Nobody else is responsible for your happiness. Not your mom, your dad, dog, sister, spouse, Best friend... that's all up to you and changing your mind set!
If there is negativity in your life, kick it to the curb! Fulfill yourself. Set goals, create a vision board, and dream BIG! Don't worry about failing, instead look at it as an opportunity to become the best version of yourself! Don't ever chase love, fame or money. Chase being your best, and the rest will chase you!
What are some of your go -to's after what you thought was a hard fall? I love hearing from you guys! Please comment below!
Love,
Krista xoxo
If there is negativity in your life, kick it to the curb! Fulfill yourself. Set goals, create a vision board, and dream BIG! Don't worry about failing, instead look at it as an opportunity to become the best version of yourself! Don't ever chase love, fame or money. Chase being your best, and the rest will chase you!
What are some of your go -to's after what you thought was a hard fall? I love hearing from you guys! Please comment below!
Love,
Krista xoxo
No comments :
Post a Comment